v260405.02 4:58p

Visiting The Austin YOUR_PROPERTY_NAME

is by invitation only

Please, Please, Please read these "Rules & Instructions"
and please don't enter until you do...

At the Austin YOUR_PROPERTY_NAME our mission is to let your Property Dreams run free. Our goal is to redefine your idea of what an YOUR_PROPERTY_NAME can be.

To make this all work, we have a few critical requests:

  1. Always, Always, Always keep the back fence gates closed. Don't leave them open for a second or the animals will wonder off, and you may spend the rest of your life chasing lost property dreams.
  2. PARKING: Please follow signs and Respect Neighborhood Sovereignty.
    • DO NOT park in front of neighbors houses. (this is critical - not for one minute).
    • DO NOT park on the grass.
    • When you come in the gate, you can park in the gravel lot on the right when you come in, if it is not full already. Park straight facing either the street or the container the way you do a normal parking lot - and NEAR other cars - don't be a space hog. We are not a hog playhouse. Do that stuff somewhere else.
    • If there is no space in the lot you can park across the street to the left past two houses, facing the highway - (NOT IN FRONT OF A HOUSE) or if there is no room there, you can park on the frontage road (turn left before the highway) and then park to the right of the signs that say "no parking to the left". This is 5 minute walk.
    • DO NOT PARK OR DRIVE ANYWHERE ON THE GRASS beyond the gate. There are Sprinklers that may get damaged, and you are likely to get stuck in the mud if it has rained. It's a $200 towing bill.
    • Don't ever park your car on the circle or by the garage. This obstructs Amazon delivery access, which is fundamental.
    • And don't dare park in front of the sauna or garage no matter how tempting.
  3. NO MEAT inside And NO ALCOHOL (unless its your wedding)
    Please NOT bring any ALCOHOL to the Playhouse. Please bring only healthy food to share with others and consider vegetarian options. There is no alcohol or sugar filled treats at Playhouse events. Don't cook meat or anything highly smelly in the house - there is no ventilation. Don't store meat in the kitchen refrigerator. You can put meat in the garage freezer or doghouse refrigerator. You can cook meat on the back patio where there is an assortment of grills, ovens, and air-fryers, but don't stare at the animals while doing so.
  4. INVITING OTHERS and STAYING OVER
    Please do not invite guests without asking a resident. All guests must read this page. If someone hasn't read this page, they are not yet welcome. If you invite someone it's your responsibility that they read this page and understand the rules. You need to trust but verify that they do. Give the "YOUR_DOMAIN/visiting" link any time you want to invite someone over. Never give the ADDRESS never post the address. NEVER please - this always causes problems when you do. Be part of the solution, not the problem. Give the link. Don't give the address, which is at the bottom of the link. Also, do not plan to stay overnight or invite others to stay overnight, unless there is an email confirmed agreement in place with a resident. Do not sleep in common areas.
  5. Clean up and "Leave No Mess". Please be extra mindful to help with cleaning. Don't leave your bags or any items on counters in the Living Room or Kitchen, better to stash in the dining room. Don't leave beverage cans, food items, tea cups, or any random stuff in the living room area. You can stash things orderly in the dining room. If you can't find something, check the "Scolding Mess Box" out back). Also, speaking of mess: don't put anything in toilets other than toilet paper or you will wreck things.
  6. Please look around and figure things out - on your own - whenever you need something. Be self-reliant. Read the labels. Read the website or ask the AI on the contact page. Ask chatGPT, email pai@YOUR_DOMAIN. Don't ask where things are if you haven't read the labels and spent some time trying to find something. Try to guess where things are before asking someone. Don't ask Jon to do things for you or where things are if you haven't looked or asked Pai AI first. If something's not well organized email Pai and complain. Try things to see if they work, and label them "broken" if they don't. Don't ask people where the spoons are. You can find the spoons - you have the power within you.
  7. Play great music: Please turn amazing music on (using Spotify device connect or "Sonos S1" app with secret network on the orientation page - on black rock city wifi), but be super careful you are playing in the right "room" on sonos, vs. blasting out some innocent sleeping bystander in a different room. Make sure just your room is connected in most cases. Too many have lost sleep and hearing…. You need to be on black rock city wifi. See orientation guide for details.
  8. Dogs: Don't let your dog enter the animals domain in the back, even though he/she is so special that one could only assume the rules surely wouldn't apply such a divine & gracious creature. You can tie them in the front. Don't leave pets unattended anywhere on the property if they are not tied. Don't bring animals into the house. And yes, this applies to even divine creatures.
  9. Bring a water bottle / no plastic water. There are 3 filtered water dispensers onsite. Don't bring full plastic water bottles. There are lots of bottles to borrow above the oven if you need.
  10. Lastly, DO NOT call the animals "Llamas". They look so sweet, but if they hear you call them "Llama", they will likely pull a knife and take you out - quick and silent and drag you behind the barn.

MORE INFO: Also read the Orientation Guide when you arrive for the hot tips on living your Best Playhouse Life™ or using any Spa amenities. There is charging all over the house for phones and also outside if you look hard. If you are staying the night please also read the Overnighters Guide. Don't stay unless you read it and have an agreement in place or an event host has indicated the sleep-over policy.

Location

We are 13 minutes east of the Austin Airport a block off of Hwy 71

Address: 123 Main Stive, Your City, TX 00000

(don't give this address to anyone ever please. give them the link to this page YOUR_DOMAIN/visiting even if they are in an uber. Do it for the animals.)

Furnished Rooms Are Available for Rent at the YOUR_PROPERTY_NAME for Short or Long Term Occupancy. Interested? Email pai@YOUR_DOMAIN, call (737) 225-9525, or text (737) 747-4737.

See the Room List here.

If you want to have an event at the YOUR_PROPERTY_NAME, please fill out this form and text.

If you want to have a Sauna and Cold Plunge evening at the YOUR_PROPERTY_NAME for no-cost you can (just make sure to cleanup 110% and follow the rules on this page 100%), then fill out the form above and text.